God is so Good...

He has blessed me with
<3 incredible friends and family who want me, need me, and love me.
<3 A roof over my head with a beautiful view, warm blankets, family, and food.
<3 A community that welcomes me, appreciates me, accepts me,
<3 4hrs every morning to pray, think, exercise and keep company with some of His most lovable creatures in some of His most beautiful country...

A year ago I thought my life would be very different from where I am, I had plans, dreams, direction, and I knew God was leading... looking at where I am now, I can see how far off I was... and now I'm starting to realize He brought me into this wilderness so He could catch up to this restless gypsy... always making goals to reach, dreams to make come true... I know He's always been there every step of the way... but now I not only live in His presence, but grow in His love...

The question was asked today...

"Who in your life, aside from God, do you feel grateful for? You cannot answer God, because I know we all want to praise God... But aside from God... Who do you have tonight to be thankful for?"

To all those in my life who may read this... Please don't be hurt or offended by what I'm about to say...

I couldn't honestly answer anyone...

Now don't get me wrong... I am incredibly thankful for the people in my life... I thought of saying my mother... My father... My grandparents... My friends... My cousin... Mentors, teachers, pastors... But everytime I thought of someone else... I kept thinking how cliche each answer was... If I'm trying this hard to come up with an answer... Do I really have one???

The truth is... No...

The truth is... I've given up on humanity... I simply don't believe in people anymore.

Maybe... That's because I've given up on me... I don't believe in myself anymore...

The truth is... I've come to understand a fundamental truth of Christianity to the core if my soul... A depressing reality... I am nothing... I am worthless... I am, as stated by "Alfalfa" in the little rascals to his true live Darla, 'the scum between His toes "

Kind of depressing eh???

Now here's where things get good... Where things get exciting...

I am told simultaneously by many people... That I am sad, depressing, miserable, unpleasant... And yet they turn around and say... That I am happy, positive, peaceful, pleasant...

How can I be simultaneously both??? Well here's my secret...
Galatians 2:20...

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

As worthless and pathetic as I am... As much as I don't believe in myself... I believe in Christ... And He's proven to me time and again how willing He is to take my body as a vessel to do His will...

Any Sci-fi nerds reading???
Well for my example please forgive me I'm more familiar with Star trek then any other examples... But I know Star-Gate also has a pretty good example...
But in Star Trek DS9 we meet Jadzia Dax... A Trill symbionts... Jadzia is the Trill Host, and Dax is the symbiote... The 2 are joined and become 1... Jadzia's personality becomes shaped by Dax... She doesn't lose her own personality... They become blended together... The 2 become 1 and the bond makes them stronger...

Can you see where I'm going with this???

Now in some examples of the host/symbiote examples throughout many sci-fi examples the host is completely taken over... We often find the struggle between the host trying to regain control from a symbiote that took over for an unwilling host... But in the case of Jadzia Dax the 2 become unified... Totally by choice... But how incredible is it for Jadzia to gain the knowledge of Dax... Dax who has lived many years beyond Jadzia... To have the memories, the wisdom, the patience of years... And for Dax to be able to use those memories, to participate in the world around and have someone to share those experiences with...

Now that I've got you side tracked... Let me get back to why I couldn't find anyone to be thankful for tonight... Because when it came down to it...

God has given me God fearing parents to be an example to me.

God has given me grandparents who choose to live as servants of God to bless those around them... Including me...

God has always found someone to be there when I needed them most... Be it a simple prayer, a kind word, or to listen to a rant that I just needed to get out.

People have failed me time and again... Because they're human... That's what we do...
People have been there for me time and again to uplift and encourage me in my darkest moments... Because they were willing to be used by God whether they knew it or not... Because deep down humanity isn't lost... God already won it for us... He created in our DNA... His image... His love... To be used for His glory...

Unfortunately for us... We've got 2 symbiotes fighting for each one of us...
1. Takes over and suppresses our instinct to love... And fills it with His desire for hate, revenge, and power.
2. Gives us the freedom to choose Him as a partner to share in His wisdom and experience as part of our own while adding to our very nature which is love...

I hope you guys realize just how absolutely incredible it is that the God of the universe... Wants you to be His host...
Remember... You have 0 worth... Except that Christ died... For You.
That's like finding a plastic button at a Jeweler's shop in North America... And the Queen of England comes all the way to that expensive shop and sees the out of place, miserable looking button... And says "that one... That's the one I want on my coat for our next press conference." Suddenly you've just become worth a million bucks... Just because the Queen had you on her coat...

You've just become worth your weight in the finest jewels in the galaxy... Because the King of the Universe... Chose you....

The question was asked today...

"Who in your life, aside from God, do you feel grateful for? You cannot answer God, because I know we all want to praise God... But aside from God... Who do you have tonight to be thankful for?"

To all those in my life who may read this... Please don't be hurt or offended by what I'm about to say...

I couldn't honestly answer anyone...

Now don't get me wrong... I am incredibly thankful for the people in my life... I thought of saying my mother... My father... My grandparents... My friends... My cousin... Mentors, teachers, pastors... But everytime I thought of someone else... I kept thinking how cliche each answer was... If I'm trying this hard to come up with an answer... Do I really have one???

The truth is... No...

The truth is... I've given up on humanity... I simply don't believe in people anymore.

Maybe... That's because I've given up on me... I don't believe in myself anymore...

The truth is... I've come to understand a fundamental truth of Christianity to the core if my soul... A depressing reality... I am nothing... I am worthless... I am, as stated by "Alfalfa" in the little rascals to his true live Darla, 'the scum between His toes "

Kind of depressing eh???

Now here's where things get good... Where things get exciting...

I am told simultaneously by many people... That I am sad, depressing, miserable, unpleasant... And yet they turn around and say... That I am happy, positive, peaceful, pleasant...

How can I be simultaneously both??? Well here's my secret...
Galatians 2:20...

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

As worthless and pathetic as I am... As much as I don't believe in myself... I believe in Christ... And He's proven to me time and again how willing He is to take my body as a vessel to do His will...

Any Sci-fi nerds reading???
Well for my example please forgive me I'm more familiar with Star trek then any other examples... But I know Star-Gate also has a pretty good example...
But in Star Trek DS9 we meet Jadzia Dax... A Trill symbionts... Jadzia is the Trill Host, and Dax is the symbiote... The 2 are joined and become 1... Jadzia's personality becomes shaped by Dax... She doesn't lose her own personality... They become blended together... The 2 become 1 and the bond makes them stronger...

Can you see where I'm going with this???

Now in some examples of the host/symbiote examples throughout many sci-fi examples the host is completely taken over... We often find the struggle between the host trying to regain control from a symbiote that took over for an unwilling host... But in the case of Jadzia Dax the 2 become unified... Totally by choice... But how incredible is it for Jadzia to gain the knowledge of Dax... Dax who has lived many years beyond Jadzia... To have the memories, the wisdom, the patience of years... And for Dax to be able to use those memories, to participate in the world around and have someone to share those experiences with...

Now that I've got you side tracked... Let me get back to why I couldn't find anyone to be thankful for tonight... Because when it came down to it...

God has given me God fearing parents to be an example to me.

God has given me grandparents who choose to live as servants of God to bless those around them... Including me...

God has always found someone to be there when I needed them most... Be it a simple prayer, a kind word, or to listen to a rant that I just needed to get out.

People have failed me time and again... Because they're human... That's what we do...
People have been there for me time and again to uplift and encourage me in my darkest moments... Because they were willing to be used by God whether they knew it or not... Because deep down humanity isn't lost... God already won it for us... He created in our DNA... His image... His love... To be used for His glory...

Unfortunately for us... We've got 2 symbiotes fighting for each one of us...
1. Takes over and suppresses our instinct to love... And fills it with His desire for hate, revenge, and power.
2. Gives us the freedom to choose Him as a partner to share in His wisdom and experience as part of our own while adding to our very nature which is love...

Which one will you let win?