It's funny how one person can say something and completely change your mood... It's worse when it's something you know they are excited about and it's something you dread more then anything at that moment.

Here's the situation. Won't go in great detail, but then again... who knows what I'm about to write... I was having an off day, well lets be honest... it's been a rough couple of weeks, today just wasn't getting any better. I had to run all over campus trying to track down important papers that were suppose to be delivered. Apparently our mail system isn't up and running just yet so no one really knows where the box of mail ended up. Oh joy. I've got homework to do, a field trip to pack for, I have no job, no money, and I'm stressed about a test that there's no way I'm going to pass. Though good news... if I don't pass the test, I don't have a field trip to pack for. Though that also means I don't pass the class, and I don't get to graduate. so I made it through the morning. Went to my class, went from driving someone to supper, to not driving them to supper, to oh yeah, I'm driving them to supper. Had people cancel for supper, and you know, none of this would bother me... but hey, it all came piling on one day. (ok... calm myself down as I just let it vent...) I've realized nothing is the same anymore, all my close friends are either gone, or our paths never cross, it's almost harder being back with them then it was being away. Well I guess here's where my day made a turn for the worse... My ex is now planning to be on my field trip. there's 4 of us in the class, he's the teachers assistant and so he's coming along so the teacher has a canoe buddy. wouldn't be a problem, I'm over him and I thought I could even spend time with him. But everyone's been so annoyed with him lately that I think it's rubbed off on me, and... it's now 4 boys - 2 sets of best friends. and me. as the only girl, and the only non-best friend. I'm just starting to feel like I'd be completely ok with not going on the trip that I've been looking forward to for 2 yrs...

Have I prayed about it???
not nearly as much as I should have been. I'm also starting to feel like a failed Christian. I feel like I should be able to just accept that the world is changing. Accept that friends come and go. And just roll with the punches. Maybe if I started praying more everything would come together. maybe if I read the bible I'd find the answers. But I'm struggling. And I'm trying to reach out to God. But I feel so miserable that I don't know how He can pull me out. But I know He can. So I'm going to try to keep going. Please pray for me.
Sorry this doesn't come to a happy ending tonight... I'm still trying to find mine...