True Love

Hey guys! So Valentines happened yesterday!!!!
Hope you all did something special with your loved ones. I did... my jeep and I had a lovely valentines together, new parts, simple fixes... it was lovely ;)

You know this past year or 2 I've done a lot talking to people about love, relationships, marriage... You know it's that time of my life where I'm learning through experience, observation, and of course all the wonderful people in my life who want to pass down their wisdom...

As you probably have gathered through many of my posts throughout the years my #1 relationship is and always will be with Jesus Christ... my hero, the love of my life, my best friend and the one who seeks every opportunity to remind me of His unfailing love for me. and normally on valentines day I like to celebrate it with Him... Reminding everyone that no matter what their current romantic situation is... Jesus thinks they're to die for and that should never be forgotten.

Today however I'm going to deviate from my tradition and actually make a traditional blog post about human to human love...

Lately I've had a hard time believing in love and marriage. Commitment just doesn't seem to mean what it used to... I grew up seeing lots of married couples, lots of divorced couples, lots of couples who i think should be divorced.... I spent my life chasing something that didn't seem to actually exist...

"Don't just look for someone you can live with. Wait for someone you can't live without."

Maybe I'm just dramatic... (Ok.. I know I take everything way to literally sometimes...) But that's probably the worst advice on love I'd ever heard... And even @10 I knew that. Several things that are wrong with that...
1. If they die in 5yrs from a tragic car accident leaving you behind with 2 kids... Do you really want to have someone you can't live without??? They die, how long till you also die... Either physically or just emotionally and can't give the kids the support they will desperately need...
2. If you can't live without them.. Honestly that's probably just an unhealthy relationship... Marriage shouldn't be about 2 people dependant on each other... It should be about two people who look forward to coming home and talking about how they functioned and  lived apart... Healthy relationships are founded on interdependence... Not dependence, not Independence... Interdependence where 2 people put their strengths together in order to thrive, not survive...
3. Placing them in a position where you can't live without them, is putting them on the same level if not a higher level then God... Who gave us life? Who gave His life so we can live? Who do we need to accept into our lives to see eternity?? God... Not some person who you've lived without for 18-30 give or take years of your life already...how many times do we try to live without God??? No one should be so important to take that place... If you were born without Someone... You can probably die without them to... Which means you should be able to live all of the in-between without them to...

I started hearing stories from people who I thought were happy...
"I married Him because I was afraid no one else would marry me."
"I wish I had looked around more. Not settled for the first beautiful girl I found. What if I had married so & so instead? My life would probably be incredibly different."

You know the first... I never would have questioned their marriage before... They were made for each other... They're a couple who has been through a lot of trials but they've learned to thrive... Not because they are financially well of, not because they have been super successful with their careers... But because when you walk into their house you instantly understand this is a house of love... They thrive socially, and they are abundant in love with everyone they meet... God included... Whether their marriage was built on fear of loneliness or not... They found true happiness...

The 2nd, I have to say I've often questioned their relationship, they don't seem made for each other... They're 2 very different people... How could it have been in Gods plan for the 2 to be married???
But what I've come to believe, and better understand... Marriage isn't always about getting along and finishing each other's sentences... It's also about helping each other through this journey called life. It's true that journey would be different. But would it ever be better??? The thing I love about this couple is that they have a life they should be proud of, incredible kids who I believe God has incredible plans for, work that fullfills them, and someone to share every moment with. They have a life where they are able to inspire those around them to strive to live life to the fullest, to let God be first in your life, and to remember nothing is too small for Him to take care of.

You know what I admire the most about these couples? They understand the commitment they made so many years ago... To love and to cherish, till death do they part... They may not have had the best reasons for getting into the relationship, but they know what it means to stand by someone, for better or for worse. Even after the honeymoon and infatuation wears off... When you start to realize you got married to someone who drives you up the wall.

So for the month of February, for Valentines this year where the world is full of the lovey dovey, romance... I hope you remember:
- as single people to look for someone who you can love, respect, and who has proven they understand what for better or worse means.. Who you know will never let you go, no matter how rough the road gets. Don't give up on love. There's a shortage of people in this world who still believe in a life long love between two people... If you give up... That's one less person for the rest of us to find... Do your "soul mate" a favor and stay a believer so they don't have to settle for a non-believer...
- and for those of you in a dating/engaged relationship... Make sure you let them know, your not just with them for the adrenaline rush... Your a man/ woman of commitment, who says what they mean and means what they say... And let them know your expectation are the same. Enjoy this time of your life, don't make promises you can't keep, but always make promises you know you will keep.
- if your married... I hope you remember what an incredible treasure that is. Your married to someone who loves you... Someone who has committed to spending the rest of their life with you, and commitment starts with you... Make sure you remember every day that you committed to love, which is an action... Not just a feeling... Show them you love them and make sure you never take the commitment for granted... We're living in a generation that is looking to you for reminders that marriage is about thriving, its about committing, and its about having someone special in your life who wants to share the journey with you.

"Don't look for someone you can survive with... Wait for someone you can thrive with."

"Dance with God and He'll let the right person cut in"

"A woman's (or man's) heart should be so close to God that a man (or woman) should have to chase Him in order to find her."