Should I stay or Should I go?

 Well for those who come here right now for updates about my adventures in the Yukon, Let me catch you up a little... I love it here, as far as cities go This one's alright,. I have a beautiful view from my window at the mountains, and if I stay up late enough I can often watch the Northern Lights dance around from the comfort of my own room. For the record I'm not often up late enough and when I make an effort to be awake I seem to get there too early or too late and just see pictures of them from everyone else... but I've definitely caught them a few times. 

I will say though the city is getting to me, so far this winter I've had a bullet come through our wall from our neighbors house, I crashed my car when someone pulled in front of me... again... a few blocks from where I work someone was brutally stabbed to death as part of a gang initiation.

After I crashed my car I drove a friends farm truck through the city every day to work, its really been a rough month or 2 honestly... and the worst part is I had great plans to tour the Territory before I leave in May, but now I've got no car it sure makes that difficult to leave my neighborhood... The worst part is, moments... literally moments... before poor Jasmine met her doom I prayed for a sign of whether I should stay or go. But how do you interpret a sign that either says "hey, now your stranded and need to be here longer to actually visit this place," or "you need to go home it isn't safe." 

On one hand I feel like a failure if I go home, on the other my only commitment was a winter in the North. I've got job offers already in BC. I've got friends excited to let me move my bus onto their property up here. I guess I need to make a decision soon... It's beautiful up here guys, but sometimes I think my heart truly belongs in BC... 

Speak and I will teach you what to say.

 I think the reason I have such a hard time with this blog is I don't feel like I have anything worth saying... I've been thinking about writing for so long, I get distracted with ideas of writing a book, but at the end of the day I tell myself over and over... but who wants to listen? It's already been said... 

Well today is a beautiful Sabbath Day, the sun is shining the dogs are barking and I'm sick at home trying to think of all the things I could be doing, the things I should be doing... but here I am trying to make my voice heard. Not because anyone actually reads this. Because that's not why we speak... We speak because we have things to say. 

Ex. 4:10-12 says
"Please Lord," Moses replied, "I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since You have spoken to Your servant, for I am slow of speech and tongue." and the Lord said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Or who makes the mute or the deaf, the sighted or the blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will help you as you speak, and I will teach you what to say." 

Honestly when I started typing this I had the first sentence in mind, the rest has come as I typed... Sometimes it feels like God asks us to speak, and we simply tell Him, "no thanks, I don't speak I have nothing to say." but if we simply do what He asks of us He gives us those words to speak. 

Why do we make so many excuses? I'm not good enough, I'm too busy, etc. 
Throughout History we've been given examples of where God asked something and when they obeyed they were blessed. 
Moses was asked to speak to Pharaoh, he spoke and God set a nation free. 
The widow was asked to feed Elijah with her last meal and she never ran out of food.

Sure God could give us all the details, but I think that's His way of exercising our faith & imagination.

Working at a Toy Store this winter has reminded me just how much of a child's life exists in the imagination. We sell so many Fairy's & Unicorns, Dragon's and Superheros... We tell children they can grow up to be anything they want to be the sky is the limit. 

But as we grow up we have to learn to live in the tangible. Find careers that Pay the bills, not spark the imagination. Listen to wiser adults who have cracked the code to a happy life. Imagination has no room in the adult world. Say goodbye to God because if we can't see something it's just a fairytale like everything else. 

But what if we exercised our imagination, allowed ourselves to continue believing in the impossible. That someday we could explore the universe, that we could live forever, that the God of everything would care enough to speak with us directly. What an amazing life we could live if we simply answered God when He called. Let him make impossible things happen. When we truly gave our broken lives to Him and let Him turn us into the superhero's He created us to be. 

We never know the adventure He wants us to live, and He will never tell us what to expect. But a life with Him by your side is never boring, it never follows the path of the predictable, but it is always better than you could imagine. 

Perfect Winter Days...

 Happy Birthday to me! 

Spent yesterday on a grand adventure exploring the world. Unfortunately it was very overcast so definitely could have been a more useful adventure, but oh my goodness how is Winter soooo beautiful?!?! Who needs to see sky when the world is so decorated with frost and seriously... it was such a beautiful day and I saw the sun only once, and it was so far away I barely got a zoomed in picture close enough to make a picture show it... 

Can I just say, we have an amazing God who puts so much love into His creations... Some say there will be no snow in heaven... there was no snow or winter before The Flood... snow is a result of sin there is no place for it in a perfect world.... and you know that may be true, but I can't believe that there is no place for snow in a perfect world. I can't believe there will be no snow in heaven... it's too incredibly beautiful. 

My enneagram type is #1... and apparently that makes me obsessed with goodness & perfection... And someday I hope I can find a better balance of what exactly that means... but something I've learned along the way is that sometimes perfection comes from imperfection. God made a "perfect" world for us to live in... Heaven was "perfect" before Satan rebelled... but in the end disaster still fell... and if something was truly that perfect, nothing could go wrong. But here's the thing... Even in the midst of perfection, when everything was good and created exactly as it should be. There was always a possibility that something would go wrong. That something could fall apart. But the perfection in Heaven comes from everyone making the choice to do the right thing. Making the choice to be the best they can be. From pursuing love & justice & mercy... at all cost. Perfection isn't about being flawless, it's about choosing to live above flaws. 

When winter comes it covers this world with purity and beauty.... assuming we don't just shovel it all away, it lifts us closer to heaven, it lets us see the world through a new lens... see the snow undisturbed, to get a glimpse of what perfection might look like. our sins covered with love & mercy, our hearts cleansed through justice... Living a life that illuminates the love of God in our lives. Choosing first to live a life that Glorifies God above man...