Isn't Perspective a crazy thing??? So here's how my summer is going...

Life at Camp..
Week 1 - Staff Orientation...
Last Year - More Group activities,
Felt more connected
I felt more spiritually ready
This Year - Everyone else feels more Spiritually ready
Everyone already knows each other relatively well
Felt Cliquish

Week 2 - Blind Camp...
Last Year - Crazy Cabin
Scared of them
By end of week felt great and sad for the end
This Year - Got Sick
Annoyed with them
Annoyed with Staff
Felt drained and counting down to end of campmeeting
Made me cry over 3 times
Everyone said staff was incredibly mature and spiritual

Week 3 - Junior Camp...
Last Year - Got Sick
Made me cry 1 time
Felt ready for the end
Miss them incredibly
Annoyed with Staff
Felt like I made a difference
This Year - Annoyed with Staff cliques
Annoyed with Staff organization
Feel like the week was a waste of everyone's time
I feel incredibly drained
Everyone could feel spiritual

Week 4 - Teen Camp... (so far)
Last Year - Crazy Girls
I felt Spiritual
I felt like I made a difference
This Year - I feel lost
I feel like A terrible councillor
I feel Drained
Why am I even here this year???

So now you know the facts... but what does it all mean??? Why is everyone thinking this year is so incredible while I'm struggling and feeling like this is such a waste of my time, and my campers time??? Is it all me??? Are the rest of the staff forgetting that I'm here and so while they help each other I'm left without any help??? Do I just have more draining cabins??? Or is it just that my attitude doesn't let me see how easy I have it...

Is it simply that for some things really are more spiritual then for others???
Or do I just not see it...???

One possible difference...
Last Year - I was focused on missions...
This Year - I've lost focus...
I didn't think it made that much of a difference, but I know it makes a difference bigger than we think.