True Love

Hey guys! So Valentines happened yesterday!!!!
Hope you all did something special with your loved ones. I did... my jeep and I had a lovely valentines together, new parts, simple fixes... it was lovely ;)

You know this past year or 2 I've done a lot talking to people about love, relationships, marriage... You know it's that time of my life where I'm learning through experience, observation, and of course all the wonderful people in my life who want to pass down their wisdom...

As you probably have gathered through many of my posts throughout the years my #1 relationship is and always will be with Jesus Christ... my hero, the love of my life, my best friend and the one who seeks every opportunity to remind me of His unfailing love for me. and normally on valentines day I like to celebrate it with Him... Reminding everyone that no matter what their current romantic situation is... Jesus thinks they're to die for and that should never be forgotten.

Today however I'm going to deviate from my tradition and actually make a traditional blog post about human to human love...

Lately I've had a hard time believing in love and marriage. Commitment just doesn't seem to mean what it used to... I grew up seeing lots of married couples, lots of divorced couples, lots of couples who i think should be divorced.... I spent my life chasing something that didn't seem to actually exist...

"Don't just look for someone you can live with. Wait for someone you can't live without."

Maybe I'm just dramatic... (Ok.. I know I take everything way to literally sometimes...) But that's probably the worst advice on love I'd ever heard... And even @10 I knew that. Several things that are wrong with that...
1. If they die in 5yrs from a tragic car accident leaving you behind with 2 kids... Do you really want to have someone you can't live without??? They die, how long till you also die... Either physically or just emotionally and can't give the kids the support they will desperately need...
2. If you can't live without them.. Honestly that's probably just an unhealthy relationship... Marriage shouldn't be about 2 people dependant on each other... It should be about two people who look forward to coming home and talking about how they functioned and  lived apart... Healthy relationships are founded on interdependence... Not dependence, not Independence... Interdependence where 2 people put their strengths together in order to thrive, not survive...
3. Placing them in a position where you can't live without them, is putting them on the same level if not a higher level then God... Who gave us life? Who gave His life so we can live? Who do we need to accept into our lives to see eternity?? God... Not some person who you've lived without for 18-30 give or take years of your life already...how many times do we try to live without God??? No one should be so important to take that place... If you were born without Someone... You can probably die without them to... Which means you should be able to live all of the in-between without them to...

I started hearing stories from people who I thought were happy...
"I married Him because I was afraid no one else would marry me."
"I wish I had looked around more. Not settled for the first beautiful girl I found. What if I had married so & so instead? My life would probably be incredibly different."

You know the first... I never would have questioned their marriage before... They were made for each other... They're a couple who has been through a lot of trials but they've learned to thrive... Not because they are financially well of, not because they have been super successful with their careers... But because when you walk into their house you instantly understand this is a house of love... They thrive socially, and they are abundant in love with everyone they meet... God included... Whether their marriage was built on fear of loneliness or not... They found true happiness...

The 2nd, I have to say I've often questioned their relationship, they don't seem made for each other... They're 2 very different people... How could it have been in Gods plan for the 2 to be married???
But what I've come to believe, and better understand... Marriage isn't always about getting along and finishing each other's sentences... It's also about helping each other through this journey called life. It's true that journey would be different. But would it ever be better??? The thing I love about this couple is that they have a life they should be proud of, incredible kids who I believe God has incredible plans for, work that fullfills them, and someone to share every moment with. They have a life where they are able to inspire those around them to strive to live life to the fullest, to let God be first in your life, and to remember nothing is too small for Him to take care of.

You know what I admire the most about these couples? They understand the commitment they made so many years ago... To love and to cherish, till death do they part... They may not have had the best reasons for getting into the relationship, but they know what it means to stand by someone, for better or for worse. Even after the honeymoon and infatuation wears off... When you start to realize you got married to someone who drives you up the wall.

So for the month of February, for Valentines this year where the world is full of the lovey dovey, romance... I hope you remember:
- as single people to look for someone who you can love, respect, and who has proven they understand what for better or worse means.. Who you know will never let you go, no matter how rough the road gets. Don't give up on love. There's a shortage of people in this world who still believe in a life long love between two people... If you give up... That's one less person for the rest of us to find... Do your "soul mate" a favor and stay a believer so they don't have to settle for a non-believer...
- and for those of you in a dating/engaged relationship... Make sure you let them know, your not just with them for the adrenaline rush... Your a man/ woman of commitment, who says what they mean and means what they say... And let them know your expectation are the same. Enjoy this time of your life, don't make promises you can't keep, but always make promises you know you will keep.
- if your married... I hope you remember what an incredible treasure that is. Your married to someone who loves you... Someone who has committed to spending the rest of their life with you, and commitment starts with you... Make sure you remember every day that you committed to love, which is an action... Not just a feeling... Show them you love them and make sure you never take the commitment for granted... We're living in a generation that is looking to you for reminders that marriage is about thriving, its about committing, and its about having someone special in your life who wants to share the journey with you.

"Don't look for someone you can survive with... Wait for someone you can thrive with."

"Dance with God and He'll let the right person cut in"

"A woman's (or man's) heart should be so close to God that a man (or woman) should have to chase Him in order to find her."

Perfection according to the Borg

Well if you've been keeping up with my posts you'll know I gave myself a fast from star trek... Well for my birthday I watched it again, and since then I've decided my fast is over... I only watched 2 episodes last week, and it actually felt Really good to  not have withdrawal symptoms everytime I turned it off.
But now that it's backbin my life as a secondary source of entertainment and not my primary, I've come to find a real appreciation for Seven of Nine... Our rehabilitated Borg from the series Voyager. She's learning to integrate herself into the human collective... Not quite as easy as the Borg assimilation...

The Borg were a pseudo-species of cybernetic beings, or cyborgs, from the Delta Quadrant. (Wikicollectivem the time Q introduces Captain Picard to this race in Star Trek The Next Generation, to the time Janeway meets them in their own part of space the Borg seem to have one goal in mind... Assimilation of every race in the universe. They seem to be a dominant species who exist to conquer...

When Janeway removes Seven of Nine from the collective we begin to understand Seven as an individual, and as the series progressed we get a deeper understanding of the Borg collective.

At first Seven seems very rude and arrogant... With the collective memories of races from all over the known universe can we really blame her for thinking she knows more then the crew on Voyager??? Interacting with illogical and temperamental individuals all over the ship comes as quite the challenge as well... She's been raced since a child as a member of the Borg collective... With all minds linked directly everyone's thoughts were immediately shared, the sentiment clearly understood. Everything running quickly and efficiently... It takes alot of adjustment for Seven to get used to the proper etiquette of the Federation star ship...

What we begin to realize though is Seven of Nine strives for perfection... She longs for it... In one episode we learn of a particle that the Borg consider to be "god" because they believe it to be absolute perfection.

Eventually she finds her niche on Voyager, she creates a routine, and she begins to appreciate those on the ship.

What I find intriguing is that she is constantly learning, growing, striving to become a better version of who she is. Striving for perfection. She explores what this word means in many different settings... Social, emotional, mental, physical.... When each new aspect is learned there is often much nashing of teeth... But upon understanding why each aspect is important she begins to put every effort into improving her skills as to be more efficient...

As I wrote this I'm pretty sure I deviated from my initial point... As I typically do... But let me wrap up with a conclusion anyways...

How many of us strive for perfection... When our God shows up do we put all rational thought behind us and do whatever we can to study and understand what He is? Do we make an effort to improve our efficiency as people? As Christians??? Or do we instead fight off change and growth as being irrelevant??? What have you done lately to improve yourself??? To make yourself more efficient??? Physically, mentally, socially, emotionally, spiritually... God is the very perfection we should all strive to understand... Don't get me wrong we need to understand first and foremost that we will never understand the full character of God... There just isn't enough time in the day... But if by beholding we become changed... Wouldn't it make sense to make the pursuit of perfection our goal??? If we can even see glimpses of what perfection really means... Maybe someday we can see enough glimpses to achieve maximum efficiency, as close to perfection as humanity can ever be.

Well Guys, I got a new website!
I was going to post a new blog tonight... but then I got distracted finishing up my new 2016 website instead :P so my new post will simply be a shout out for my new site... "www.soar4him.com" go check it out!
Keep in mind it's still under some pretty heavy construction... but do feel free to leave a comment at the bottom of the page with suggestions and comments!

"ADDICTED TO GOD: I have a radical theory that God made all humans to be addicts. That's right every one of us is an addict, and God designed us that way! That is, God wired us to be addicted to Him. And when people reject Him, they struggle in vain to fill that cavernous black hole with some other possession. Some become workaholics, some become addicted to food and suffer bulimia or obesity. others choose alcohol, drugs or cigarettes as their favorite addiction. For some it's sex or music; still other, fashion and outward appearance. They become consumed with materialism and vanity. And there are those who become addicted to other people in twisted codependent relationships. All this is done in misguided attempt to fill a void that was designed for God. Human beings were created to be filled with God's Spirit, and when God is not the center of their lives they will desperately seek to fill that vacuum with something else. God designed us to be addicted in love to Him. It is only in Him that we will find joy and satisfaction." Doug Batchelor

I think the quote speaks for itself... Are you addicted to God??? or is something else in His place???

David, the shepherd boy... He's been on my mind alot lately... The insignificant country kid who grew up to do amazing things...
A man after God's own heart...

Have you ever thought about what that means??? I have... Alot...
Now anyone who knows anything about David knows he was definitely a bit rough around the edges. Did you know He had at least 5 wives??? I always knew about 2... Heard at least 3 I think, but eventually I learned he had at least 5... He was the guy who had another man killed to save himself the trouble of telling him about getting the man's wife pregnant... Oops...

I've always seen God as my best friend... I've come to know Him as my true love and coming from that true love perspective, its kind of bugged me to know David was a man after God's own heart... Because if David had a similar heart as God... Maybe God has the same philosophy about love as David... Love whoever you want and dont worry about the effects it may have on those around...
But you know David's woman problems weren't a matter of the heart, many of his marriages were political, so you can't really be after him for that... And any that weren't political was driven by the eyes not the heart... And since we already know from Davids story that man sees what's on the outside but God looks at the heart, we should already know, that God's love affair with each and everyone of us is so much more then lust or a shallow love...

With December just past and the new year begun, we've just come out of that "season of love" where individuals couple up, and couples make deeper commitments in their relationships... Anyone left single takes some time to reevaluate what they want out of life...

Well as one of the later of those choices, I've definitely reevaluated my life without romance...

My conclusion... I have more of a love life then alot of married people these days. I am certainly not lacking in Romance... I have everything my heart desires. God is good and He's chosen me. Every morning I wake up with countless gifts showered upon me... Every night I get to go to bed knowing I'll wake up in the morning to spend another day with Him...  I know its a long distance relationship and sometimes it gets hard... But He thought His life on a cross was worth seeing me for all of eternity... No matter how long it takes to get me there.
There's nothing I want more then to see Him face to face... But until then it gives me lots of time to get to know Him...

David had alot of love to give to the world... He had a best friend who he devoted his life to. He had 5 wives who he must've spent some good quality time with, since he also had a few kids... 1 that he mourned greatly over, knowing it was his mistake that would cost his sons life... And when He mourned for his lost child... He hadnt even met the kid yet...  Of course there was Absolom who would have killed David in order to have the thrown, but because he was David's son... David sought every possible solution apart from death to bring Absolom home...
David most certainly was a man after God's own heart... Because both knew how to love... Both gave love everything they had... Heart and soul for the ones they cared about... David made alot of mistakes... And I am so glad my God is perfect in every way... He's alot smarter then David... But thankfully for us... He's No more careful about who He chooses to love... Because He loves each and every one of us, with a passion so deep, and a love so strong... That not even in death shall we part.

Hey Guys,  It's that time of year again!!!

Thats right, Christmas is over, Boxing Week sales are coming to an end, everyone is looking back at their past year, and looking forward to the next. What's your New Years Resolution this year???

Truth be told... I have absolutely no idea what my resolution was last year... o.O I even went back on this blog, (and ok I only skimmed it because I didn't want it to change my thought for tonight,) but I can't even find what I resolved to do on that... in fact I basically said I'm not making a resolution... Shows you how important resolutions are eh??? 

Well I was looking at a resolution I had made a few years back... 

"New Years Resolution" 

- Trusting Him to heal my brokenness"

I have another note next to that one from the same year around Christmas time... which basically says "Lord, Thanks. You made it happen"

It's cool finding little things like that... notes that you can go back and comment on... notes that you've made notes on... Notes that show your journey... 

I guess at this time of year it's hard to not look back at the past year... think back on memories both good and bad... try to decide if your year was a success... a failure... look back on mistakes to find out what you've learned, Look back on the journey to see how far you've come.

The cold hard truth... For me, this year was definitely closer to the failure side then the success... I look back on all my bigger choices I've made in the past 365 days and the majority of them were simply the wrong choice. I've made mistakes that I can't find good life lessons from, I lost touch with my best friend. I've burnt bridges that won't ever be rebuilt, and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. But here's the lesson's that I've managed to learn.

Sometimes, people make mistakes. And sometimes, those mistakes are simply mistakes. Sometimes all you can do is let go and let God.

I've always been a firm believer that mistakes don't exist... Anytime you mess up, it helps get you one step closer to where you need to be. There's always something you learned, there's always something that can be used to make you a better person. But you know... Sometimes mistakes just happen. There's no lesson to be learned. There's no becoming a better version of you. There's just mistakes that you learn not to do again. 

God is Love, and He loves you soooooo sooooo much.... 

Guys... I honestly Can't stress this enough... I wish I had posted my conversation I had with someone a month or so ago... I mentioned earlier I lost touch with my best friend... well I guess touch isn't a great word... communication would be much better if we're being technical. This whole year just felt like such a failed year.... I did practicum which felt like I was wasting my time and theirs, I got myself into a relationship and lost 2 really good friends because I was stupid enough to believe in it, I wasted 2 months trying to be true to my word while no one else was true to theirs, got banned from entering a country, well by the end of the summer I just felt like such a failure I had absolutely no right to be talking to God, I'd made a mess of everything, and I didn't know what to believe in anymore... I guess part of it was that I felt like I had no right to talk to Him, the rest I just didn't know what to say... But you know the one thing I can look back and remember the most... aside from all the Star Trek I binge watched... was knowing that while I was drowning my failures in Star Trek... God was holding me tight just waiting till I could figure out what to say... I mentioned finding that note that showed my 2013 journey... that was the day I stopped thinking I must have lost God cause I hadn't talked to Him for so long.. it was earlier that day where I realized Him and I hadn't grown apart... because if there's one thing I've learned this year... Love is a Verb

It's something that I'd heard often... It's something that I knew... but it wasn't something that I understood... I've learned it really is just as easy to fall out of love with someone, as it is to fall in love with them. Falling in love is fun, so people just do it... all the time... cause it's exciting... Once the excitement is over it's time to move on, after all, there's plenty of fish in the sea and you can always fall in love with someone... The hard part is staying in love with someone... But the truth is, God Is Love, thats the cold hard truth guys... God can't help but fall in love with you every single minute of every single day... Way back in October 2002, I made a decision... I got baptized. On that day I vowed to love God till death do us part. For Better or for Worse... We're in this one together... And this year while I thought I had lost Him... I realized He had made the same decision... I guess the difference was that He made the decision with His death so that we would never part. Because no matter what I do, no matter how I fail... He's always there right in the middle of the mistakes. He's there when I turn on Netflix to watch Star Trek because I don't know what to say to Him... He's there on the couch with His arms around me while I eat popcorn while Q wreaks havoc with Picard, or Sisko... Repeating promise after promise... patiently waiting for me to find the words to say... Because God loves... Unconditionally, Unceasingly. Always & Forever, No If's ands or Buts. He said it, and by golly you know He meant every word...

I guess on that note... It's time for me to get some sleep...

My New Years Resolution...

To seek Perfection. 

I know I know... Kimmy you're not perfect, you don't have to be perfect, Even you make mistakes, and your allowed to make everyone... But you know what guys... This world isn't my home... and if I live by the rules of my neighbors house... how will that reflect upon my own household? My personal motto starts... "As an Ambassador of the Kingdom of Heaven..." I think it's about time I live up to that standard that I set for myself... I know I'll still make mistakes... It happens, but thats why I'm seeking perfection... heaven knows I have a long ways to go. But the Bible says Job was perfect, so it can't be impossible... besides... If the world doesn't end soon, and I don't die sooner... Maybe I can just walk there with God like Enoch. 

Heaven's song

Hey guys, so its definitely been awhile since I wrote anything... Hopefully you haven't missed me too much... But the truth is I just haven't had anything to say... I could update you on my life but that hasn't changed much...
- waitressing
- slowly paying down bills
- still banned from America
- living with family
- looking for work
- praying over my dieing car
- got my wisdom teeth pulled

Pretty well the life of any recent graduate from university these days right??? Well aside from that I just want to say I've had a pretty incredible day. :) one of those days where I have so much to say and well... I'm on a plane with strangers who are trying to sleep because from where we just took off from, its 12:20am... Yay for red eye flights to time zones ahead of us eh???

Well I started my travels @11:30am and its definitely been about 12hrs... We still have about 3hrs till landing and another 4-5hrs after that to drive... It's going to be a long day.... So why am I writing about it now saying how incredible its been??? Well let me tell you.... :)

I woke up early... Well... 8am... But considering I went to bed around 1am I'd say it's petty early... I finished packing, took a shower, have I ever mentioned I am in love with my hair??? I know I know... I'm incredibly weird... I'll be the first to admit it... Well I got to have breakfast and chat with grandpa for a few minutes... Dropped off some of my favorite movies for a friend to watch while I'm gone, stopped by grandma's work to pick up some things, ran into a friend at the gas station and started my drive to Kelowna...

I've been trying to find a place to park my car for the week while I'm gone and someone to give me a ride to the airport... Well yesterday we found someone. A lovely couple... I got to their house early and they invited me in, we visited, ate plums, I got to look at their new album of a family cruise they took for their 50th anniversary, they drove me to the airport and my Baby's fate lies in their hands as I left my jeep with them for the week... At the airport I met a lady going to Vancouver for a work conference hoping to get a promotion and move that way soon. We visited and she left. By the time my flight was ready to go I realized... I have a really long layover in Calgary... So since my cousin had texted me earlier that day I gave her a quick call and guess who I got to see at the airport! :D we didn't have alot of time since she had an appointment and then I had a flight... But we did have enough time to go through photos of her wedding that she got a couple days ago. :) yay for new pictures for my Facebook. ;)
On both my flights I've had wonderful company... We talk for awhile till the plane takes off then everyone breaks off to do their own thing... Read, sleep, journal, watch the football game, finally write the Maid of Honour speech,  etc...
For me on this 2nd flight... I'm so distracted I can't sleep... Pray for me in the morning... Mercy, it'll be a long day :P but I'm distracted because I can't stop thinking about how incredibly blessed I am...
- waitressing, and meeting a ton of cool people, networking and making money
- slowly paying down bills, and watching a steady flow of money wash through my bank account
- still banned from America, and living in the best place on earth
- living with family, and enjoying their company
- looking for work, and exploring what work to me really means
- praying over my dieing car, and being constantly reminded of my incredible network of friends and family who help me with repairs, rides and remembering all the times I have spent with them over repairs on my car
- got my wisdom teeth pulled, and being reminded that I have an incredible God... Who sometimes has to pull things out of our lives to make us better...

Today has been a day where Kimmy feels loved and so incredibly blessed... And I couldn't have imagined it getting any better when I got on this planet... But you know at some point while I was singing a song by Steve Green about Entering in & surrendering to the spirits call... Finding peace within... Inner peace is something that I haven't had alot of these days... But today... I have.. And as we started flying out of Calgary, I started journalling.. And thanking God for the life He's given me... Cause its been rough lately, but its also a reminder of how He has been able to bless me each and every day... But then we started flying over Saskatchewan... And I swear the skies started dancing with the song in my heart... The Northern lights started shining and dancing across the sky... It's the perfect end to a perfect day...

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father you are King over the flood
I will be still, know You are God