Hey Guys,  It's that time of year again!!!

Thats right, Christmas is over, Boxing Week sales are coming to an end, everyone is looking back at their past year, and looking forward to the next. What's your New Years Resolution this year???

Truth be told... I have absolutely no idea what my resolution was last year... o.O I even went back on this blog, (and ok I only skimmed it because I didn't want it to change my thought for tonight,) but I can't even find what I resolved to do on that... in fact I basically said I'm not making a resolution... Shows you how important resolutions are eh??? 

Well I was looking at a resolution I had made a few years back... 

"New Years Resolution" 

- Trusting Him to heal my brokenness"

I have another note next to that one from the same year around Christmas time... which basically says "Lord, Thanks. You made it happen"

It's cool finding little things like that... notes that you can go back and comment on... notes that you've made notes on... Notes that show your journey... 

I guess at this time of year it's hard to not look back at the past year... think back on memories both good and bad... try to decide if your year was a success... a failure... look back on mistakes to find out what you've learned, Look back on the journey to see how far you've come.

The cold hard truth... For me, this year was definitely closer to the failure side then the success... I look back on all my bigger choices I've made in the past 365 days and the majority of them were simply the wrong choice. I've made mistakes that I can't find good life lessons from, I lost touch with my best friend. I've burnt bridges that won't ever be rebuilt, and I have no idea what I want to do with my life. But here's the lesson's that I've managed to learn.

Sometimes, people make mistakes. And sometimes, those mistakes are simply mistakes. Sometimes all you can do is let go and let God.

I've always been a firm believer that mistakes don't exist... Anytime you mess up, it helps get you one step closer to where you need to be. There's always something you learned, there's always something that can be used to make you a better person. But you know... Sometimes mistakes just happen. There's no lesson to be learned. There's no becoming a better version of you. There's just mistakes that you learn not to do again. 

God is Love, and He loves you soooooo sooooo much.... 

Guys... I honestly Can't stress this enough... I wish I had posted my conversation I had with someone a month or so ago... I mentioned earlier I lost touch with my best friend... well I guess touch isn't a great word... communication would be much better if we're being technical. This whole year just felt like such a failed year.... I did practicum which felt like I was wasting my time and theirs, I got myself into a relationship and lost 2 really good friends because I was stupid enough to believe in it, I wasted 2 months trying to be true to my word while no one else was true to theirs, got banned from entering a country, well by the end of the summer I just felt like such a failure I had absolutely no right to be talking to God, I'd made a mess of everything, and I didn't know what to believe in anymore... I guess part of it was that I felt like I had no right to talk to Him, the rest I just didn't know what to say... But you know the one thing I can look back and remember the most... aside from all the Star Trek I binge watched... was knowing that while I was drowning my failures in Star Trek... God was holding me tight just waiting till I could figure out what to say... I mentioned finding that note that showed my 2013 journey... that was the day I stopped thinking I must have lost God cause I hadn't talked to Him for so long.. it was earlier that day where I realized Him and I hadn't grown apart... because if there's one thing I've learned this year... Love is a Verb

It's something that I'd heard often... It's something that I knew... but it wasn't something that I understood... I've learned it really is just as easy to fall out of love with someone, as it is to fall in love with them. Falling in love is fun, so people just do it... all the time... cause it's exciting... Once the excitement is over it's time to move on, after all, there's plenty of fish in the sea and you can always fall in love with someone... The hard part is staying in love with someone... But the truth is, God Is Love, thats the cold hard truth guys... God can't help but fall in love with you every single minute of every single day... Way back in October 2002, I made a decision... I got baptized. On that day I vowed to love God till death do us part. For Better or for Worse... We're in this one together... And this year while I thought I had lost Him... I realized He had made the same decision... I guess the difference was that He made the decision with His death so that we would never part. Because no matter what I do, no matter how I fail... He's always there right in the middle of the mistakes. He's there when I turn on Netflix to watch Star Trek because I don't know what to say to Him... He's there on the couch with His arms around me while I eat popcorn while Q wreaks havoc with Picard, or Sisko... Repeating promise after promise... patiently waiting for me to find the words to say... Because God loves... Unconditionally, Unceasingly. Always & Forever, No If's ands or Buts. He said it, and by golly you know He meant every word...

I guess on that note... It's time for me to get some sleep...

My New Years Resolution...

To seek Perfection. 

I know I know... Kimmy you're not perfect, you don't have to be perfect, Even you make mistakes, and your allowed to make everyone... But you know what guys... This world isn't my home... and if I live by the rules of my neighbors house... how will that reflect upon my own household? My personal motto starts... "As an Ambassador of the Kingdom of Heaven..." I think it's about time I live up to that standard that I set for myself... I know I'll still make mistakes... It happens, but thats why I'm seeking perfection... heaven knows I have a long ways to go. But the Bible says Job was perfect, so it can't be impossible... besides... If the world doesn't end soon, and I don't die sooner... Maybe I can just walk there with God like Enoch. 

Heaven's song

Hey guys, so its definitely been awhile since I wrote anything... Hopefully you haven't missed me too much... But the truth is I just haven't had anything to say... I could update you on my life but that hasn't changed much...
- waitressing
- slowly paying down bills
- still banned from America
- living with family
- looking for work
- praying over my dieing car
- got my wisdom teeth pulled

Pretty well the life of any recent graduate from university these days right??? Well aside from that I just want to say I've had a pretty incredible day. :) one of those days where I have so much to say and well... I'm on a plane with strangers who are trying to sleep because from where we just took off from, its 12:20am... Yay for red eye flights to time zones ahead of us eh???

Well I started my travels @11:30am and its definitely been about 12hrs... We still have about 3hrs till landing and another 4-5hrs after that to drive... It's going to be a long day.... So why am I writing about it now saying how incredible its been??? Well let me tell you.... :)

I woke up early... Well... 8am... But considering I went to bed around 1am I'd say it's petty early... I finished packing, took a shower, have I ever mentioned I am in love with my hair??? I know I know... I'm incredibly weird... I'll be the first to admit it... Well I got to have breakfast and chat with grandpa for a few minutes... Dropped off some of my favorite movies for a friend to watch while I'm gone, stopped by grandma's work to pick up some things, ran into a friend at the gas station and started my drive to Kelowna...

I've been trying to find a place to park my car for the week while I'm gone and someone to give me a ride to the airport... Well yesterday we found someone. A lovely couple... I got to their house early and they invited me in, we visited, ate plums, I got to look at their new album of a family cruise they took for their 50th anniversary, they drove me to the airport and my Baby's fate lies in their hands as I left my jeep with them for the week... At the airport I met a lady going to Vancouver for a work conference hoping to get a promotion and move that way soon. We visited and she left. By the time my flight was ready to go I realized... I have a really long layover in Calgary... So since my cousin had texted me earlier that day I gave her a quick call and guess who I got to see at the airport! :D we didn't have alot of time since she had an appointment and then I had a flight... But we did have enough time to go through photos of her wedding that she got a couple days ago. :) yay for new pictures for my Facebook. ;)
On both my flights I've had wonderful company... We talk for awhile till the plane takes off then everyone breaks off to do their own thing... Read, sleep, journal, watch the football game, finally write the Maid of Honour speech,  etc...
For me on this 2nd flight... I'm so distracted I can't sleep... Pray for me in the morning... Mercy, it'll be a long day :P but I'm distracted because I can't stop thinking about how incredibly blessed I am...
- waitressing, and meeting a ton of cool people, networking and making money
- slowly paying down bills, and watching a steady flow of money wash through my bank account
- still banned from America, and living in the best place on earth
- living with family, and enjoying their company
- looking for work, and exploring what work to me really means
- praying over my dieing car, and being constantly reminded of my incredible network of friends and family who help me with repairs, rides and remembering all the times I have spent with them over repairs on my car
- got my wisdom teeth pulled, and being reminded that I have an incredible God... Who sometimes has to pull things out of our lives to make us better...

Today has been a day where Kimmy feels loved and so incredibly blessed... And I couldn't have imagined it getting any better when I got on this planet... But you know at some point while I was singing a song by Steve Green about Entering in & surrendering to the spirits call... Finding peace within... Inner peace is something that I haven't had alot of these days... But today... I have.. And as we started flying out of Calgary, I started journalling.. And thanking God for the life He's given me... Cause its been rough lately, but its also a reminder of how He has been able to bless me each and every day... But then we started flying over Saskatchewan... And I swear the skies started dancing with the song in my heart... The Northern lights started shining and dancing across the sky... It's the perfect end to a perfect day...

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father you are King over the flood
I will be still, know You are God

Hey guys, so my 1 post/week goal isn't working out so well eh? Well here's a quick update on my life since my last post ok?

Well I headed home, tired and disheartened, I have returned to Beautiful British Columbia... surrounded by the landscapes that I truly believe were kissed by God Himself... I reside with my grandparents currently. I've acquired a job waitressing at a place out here in the promised land. Keeping my eyes peeled for a job more relevant to the degree I recently graduated with. But you know I really do think God wants me where He's got me. I know many who will argue that point and thats alright, I don't mind. Honestly it's hard to trust myself and my faith when the world tells me I'm wrong... but hey, no where did God ever say the path He leads us down would be easy right? Everyone has their opinion and God's the only one who knows which one of us is right.

Anywho, one cool story we went through the other day in Sabbath School... was Esther... you all know the story right? The queen refuses to be shown off as a prized cow in front of the audience so she's banished, The king has to find a new queen so he invites all the eligible young ladies to be a part of the beauty pageant, the winner becomes his queen and then because Esther wins the title of fairest in the land she saves her people and is remembered for all eternity for her bravery...

Esther has always intrigued me... God made this woman to be incredibly beautiful, I'm sure inside and out, because He had for her a special purpose. Obviously outwardly beautiful since she captured the eyes of the king who had plenty of women to chose from...  God used that beauty to His glory... we hear so often people talk about someone's heart of gold, their kindness, their faithfulness... But how many are known for their physical beauty... Anyways I guess that was my side thought for the night, I guess I just like the idea that in a world with so many conflicting views about feminism, sexuality, appearance, etc... I like the idea that we should feel comfortable with who we are because God made us that way... beautiful or ugly... God molded our appearance just as much as He molds our heart. But I also like that we shouldn't feel ashamed of striving to be better. I mean don't focus our attention so much on our appearance that it takes away from the beauty within... but that doesn't mean we should neglect our appearance because it's the inside that counts...

But you know, Esther is such a gold mine of incredible truths. Truths we so often neglect. What do we usually learn from Esther???
- Stand for what you believe in no matter what the cost
- God puts us where He needs us though we may not always understand
Is there any other "normal" lessons that we usually hear from Esther??? Off the top of my head I'm coming up short...
But Here's a few lesson's I've gleaned from Esther this past little while...
- Keep your beliefs to yourself
- Do what it takes to be beautiful
- God leads you into controversial places

Seriously though... have you ever thought about the truths behind Esther??? Do you think Esther felt comfortable going into the kings house knowing what would happen. that she'd probably end up either concubine or wife? How about the wisdom of Mordecai to keep her heritage and beliefs a secret? It's hard to know whether Esther was scared of what would happen if she argued, or if she was so incredibly trusting of God that she followed Him places that I'm sure she thought she couldn't possibly make a difference. By the fact that she kept her heritage a secret you'd think it was fear... but by the fact that she was willing to stand before the king uninvited, it's hard to believe she was afraid of anything...

Psalm 23 if it was written by Esther

The Lord is my Chamberlain I shall not want
He maketh me to bath in rich ointments, He giveth me riches abundant.
He gives all I desire, He leadeth me in the paths of Kings for His name's sake
Yeah though I through the court room of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. thy love and thy will they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies, thou anointest my head with oil, my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Hey guys,
So I was trying to remember if I'd posted this or not... so if I did I hope you don't mind hearing it again ;) I just didn't want to read through my last dozen posts to see if it was part of one of them.

Well here's my story for the weekend...
A couple months back at church I heard a fabulous sermon. But at the time I didn't realize quite how relevant I would soon find it to be. I'm sure we've all heard a sermon or 2 about prayer... it's importance... and how we should pray more often and more honestly. Well I've always had a pretty good prayer life. My devotional life can definitely use some work but hey we can't all be perfect ;) Even I'm still a work in progress... But prayer has been something that I've been pretty good @ being consistent about... It doesn't take any extra time... (unless you spend special prayer time, which I'm going tell you now... 1hr devoted to just praying sometimes seems like the most boring thing at first... but by the end of the hour... it's hard to let it end.) You can pray any time, anywhere, you don't need supplies, and you don't have to worry about. Prayer is about having that best friend with you... 24/7, walking beside you and sharing everything with them. But back to the sermon and it's relevance...

(Now as I continue do forgive me... I took some notes on it and I was just looking for them so I can use quotes and specific verses... but alas I do not recall where I put my notebook... )

The pastor talked about prayer and some of it's different forms. he talked about how you can stop everything and just pray... He talked about how you can pray anytime, anywhere, no matter what else you are doing during the prayer... But the part that I found most intriguing was the part about how there are times when you really just don't have the words to pray... sometimes you just can't. And yet the bible says "pray without ceasing" so if there are times that you just can't "pray" does that mean your not good enough for God? No... it doesn't. I just means that your human, sometimes we don't have the words, we just don't know what to say...

Now here's the part about me understanding the relevance. For those consistently reading my blog I'm sure you've gathered by now it's been a rough summer. This past month I've hit the point where I just don't know what to pray about anymore... Nothing turns out even when I think it's been lead by God... I can't find the good in any wrong turn... and I just don't know what I need to pray for... I mean obviously we want to pray for wisdom, strength, courage, guidance at all times... but that leads to a prayer of "Lord give me wisdom, give me strength, courage, and guidance in this rough time." hardly a prayer that lasts long enough for a prayer that doesn't cease. I can focus on what I'm thankful for, but half the time I don't even know what that is anymore, but to pray without ceasing with a broken heart and soul gets hard.. the feeling just hasn't been there. But the truth is, it doesn't have to be. You don't have to feel like praying, you don't even really have to pray...

If you make prayer less about what you have to do, or even about what he does for you, If prayer is about having a relationship, or a connection... Let your heart do the praying. I'm pretty sure the heart doesn't get every wish and dream into your head. Sometimes the brain is just a jerk and gets caught up with the facts and misses the simple truth. There's an episode of Star Trek DS9 about that... well kind of... but I thought of it while typing that so I'll explain :P
A group of genetically enhanced humans were brought together and ended up calculating the chance of success from the Dominion threat. Turns out 90 Million people will die and the Dominion will succeed in taking over anyways. So they decide it's better to surrender now, let the Dominion take over, and then let a revolution rise and take over and be free again. People will still die, but not 90Million... I think it was closer to 20Million... so significantly less... But to keep it short... They were going to unite with the Dominion and help speed up the inevitable and lead the Federation to their quick defeat. Unfortunately they couldn't even calculate the chance of 1 of their friends stopping them. It took 1 person and her faith in humanity to stop them.
The point is... Sometimes it's not about the facts and what conclusions those facts may mean. Just 1 person, 1 moment and those facts can be proved wrong. Sometimes our heads forget that... But I don't think our hearts ever do. But when our heads have lost all hope, sometimes we need to trust our hearts and realize that there's always hope... There's always a prayer to be prayed... There's always answers to be found.

So when you get stuck in a rut like I have and you just don't know what more to say... Just keep your heart open to the connection, let it do the talking for you... Anyone who's had a best friend knows... Sometimes help doesn't come from talking about anything, it's just about the connection and the company you keep in the silence.

For about a month I had a hard time praying, and it made me feel miserable... How can I call myself a Christian if I can't even pray to Christ... my best friend... But the truth is, He reminded me of that sermon, It's not about what I say, what I do... it's not even just about the incredible things He does for me even when I can't see it or understand... It's about the connection that we have. And thats a freeing realization... Cause as much as I hate to admit it... I don't have it all together, and if I held on to prayer being about something He does for me... I'd probably stop praying pretty quick. not because He stops doing things for me... but because so often... I have no idea what He's done for me, I get caught up in what I'm missing and forget to be thankful for what I have...

So I'm happy to say, at this point in time, I'm a broken and beaten individual... but I haven't been defeated... My heart's still praying, my head is starting to be thankful for the simple things again, but the connection will never be broken, and I know that more now than I did before

Skit Guys - God's Chisel Remastered

Best Video ever created. I know I post it regularly on my facebook page, but I want to share it with you guys here to. if you haven't seen it yet WATCH IT NOW!!! Watch it every month!, Week, Day... don't ever forget... God Doesn't make Junk. Therefore you cannot possibly be junk. Whenever you don't think you can possibly be good... remember again... God made you Good. be good. I know that makes it sound easier than it is... but stop trying so hard to be perfect... I know we all feel like we have to be perfect to be worth anything... but you don't. you just have to keep trusting that your worth is defined by the one who created you, not by the ones who think its necessary to compete with you.

All I Ever Have To Be - Amy Grant

The Music of choice in my life at this time... :)



https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLC802E6FFCA5DA7D3







One of my favourite songs from the album

Well Summer Sales Conference II is coming, which means a commitment of 40 Demos in 2 weeks... to make matters worse, It's the first week I've had commitments not related to work... Cousin's getting married... and don't get me wrong... thats not a bad thing at all!!! I'm sooo happy for her and I'm so excited to be a part of that. Shoot... I need to work on my speech for that... (No I'm not maid of honour thank goodness... but she wants me to say something... so alas... public speaking it must be... she's lucky she's my favouritest 3rd Cousin that Lives in Calgary and teaches... ;) ) Anyways... my point is that it's going to be a busy week... getting the dress altered, rehearsal, bachelorette party, Rehearsal, Getting my speech figured out... (I'm definitely attempting to plan it this time... None of my last minute speeches turn out very good... not at weddings...), helping with my part of the decorating, the wedding, have a couple friends I want to visit since it's my 1 week off, office work free... So I'm planning those trips around demos... It's going to be a week of busyness thats for sure... The week after??? Well... I head back, do more demos for 2 days, 3 days of running training, interviews, another day or 2 dedicated to demos... and hopefully I can squeeze 40 demos into those 2 weeks around interviews, training, wedding business, and still have time to see the people I need to see.
During the next couple weeks you might get alot more posts about goals, dreams, plans, work, etc... Thats what these next 2 weeks with Vector are all about. They're about making goals, dreaming big, expecting the unexpected. It's about growing to become a better you. It's funny, they tell you to reach for the stars... but if you don't reach it, they focus on what you've learned, who you've become. Reaching for the stars isn't about catching a star... it's not about missing and hitting the moon... It's about growing, never giving up and becoming a better version of yourself.

You know writing these blogs has probably been the best thing I could have done in these past couple weeks... I've been discouraged... barely making it through. Don't get me wrong, I'm not having a mental breakdown or anything, life is still pretty decent. But I've had a terrible run of bad luck. It seems no matter what I do everything just slowly falls apart. I'm a dreamer, and I won't lie, I'm not great at being the achiever. I dream big, I just haven't figured out how to reach those dreams. My faith in my dreams is slowly fading. It feels like I move 1 step forward and 10 steps back. I've asked myself... I've asked God countless times in the past few weeks/months what I need to do... Everyone around me has a million ideas of what I need to be doing. Some of them are pretty darn good plans. But more often I find myself listening to their suggestions and asking... "is this really it..." Sometimes I feel like Pocahontas, when she's talking to her father tell her what her destiny is... The song "Just around the River Bend" resonates pretty well... should I choose the smoothest course? Just fall in line and take the first option available? For the record,  there's nothing wrong with the smoothest course... and maybe thats the path I need to take, the one that leads to patience waiting for greatness to come... But then again I've never been very skilled in settling for good... I strive for perfection and greatness... Go big or go home... Right now I seem stuck at home... cause going big just isn't working.
But here's why the blogs have been helpful to me. Hopefully you guys are learning something, hopefully I'm giving you something to think about... but it's only good if you do something about it. I know I've been learning alot. Partly through spirit of Vector, growing individuals professionally, financially, and personally.  Partly through Ramit Sethi and his words of wisdom through a few of his programs that he runs. But I think no matter how much I read, how much I learn... unless I'm doing something about it it's not going to be any use. I'm still struggling with how exactly to put it into action, but I'm doing that in a couple ways.
1. Through writing... 1 post per week was about committing to something and following through, about building skills and building myself.  I've also discovered it's helping to keep me shut out from the world. Really I've been doing pretty good with that actually, but it gives me a moment to reflect on what I'm learning, and share it with the world.
2nd, I'm doing that through beading... strange thing to put my "dreams & goals" into action I know... but it's super relaxing. I have a goal in mind, my goal is that someday I'll have enough finished projects earrings, keychains, necklaces, etc, to have a table at a farmers market and sell it. This I'm doing while I veg out and take some much needed Kimmy time. But because I have a goal in mind, it's not just wasted TV time, it's not just wasted Chill time... it's something I rather enjoy doing and it's giving me some much needed me time, while still working towards a goal of becoming a crafting extraordinaire. I also have a friend or 2 that I'm going make join me at the farmer's market... my dearest friend who's recently started beading is becoming quite stellar... honestly she's finished 3 times as many... (well... I don't know if I actually finished any more than 1... so probably alot more than 3 times...) projects as I ever did with the bead loom anyways.
3. I'm just going to keep moving... Not going very quick... I just lack the inspiration, direction, and passion to put my heart and soul into anything at the moment... It's hard knowing that when I do it all falls apart... I'm still working on momentum... but it's coming. and this push week starting on the 6th is going to be a huge test of that motivation & momentum... My goals for the push week... 40 Demos, $30,000 Honestly it's an absolutely huge goal... but here's why I chose it... the general # of demos is 40 demos for push week... that is what we encourage everyone to do. and with my coming 2 weeks... thats plenty... but the usual goal for that is $10K, so I'm tripling my sales goal and sticking with the 40 Demos... I'm going for as many demos as I can, at this point I think 40  is good... we'll see if I can raise it by the end of week 1... Cross my fingers, say a huge prayer, etc... for the Sales goal... 10K only gets me 3K in profit, and I know... 3K in 2 weeks is amazing... more than I've made all summer... but it's not something I can look at and say Yes thats what I'm going to do... but if I can say my goal is 30K, thats something I can get behind... @ 30K in sales... I hit my next 2 promotions... I'm making alot more for every sale, and the best part... I move on debt free... So is it realistic??? well... a couple reps last year sold over 20K and the record currently stands at almost 50K... Yes, the 50K record is selling a couple Cutco kitchens and alot of our biggest knife sets with alot of gadgets...  I really just don't have the contacts for that many huge sales... but if 1 rep, with 2 busy part time jobs, can still figure out a way to sell 20K, and hit almost 40 Demos... I have a pretty decent shot @ 30K, but you know what... if I don't hit that goal. hopefully I've hit my 40 Demo goal... but here's the best part... if I don't hit either of those goals... but I did the best that I can... I've still put in alot of hard work, I've failed, and I get one more chance to figure out how to pick myself up, move forward, and never give up. I've had 1 more chance to prove to myself that I'm absolutely crazy, stupid, and driven. That I believe in amazing things, and it may not serve much at hitting any goals of where I want to be... But I've made the commitment and I'm going to see it through. I'm going to keep my priorities straight, I'm going to give it all I've got. and if I fail... then I fail, and I find my next thing to work towards, and I wait for my luck to change...

So do I choose the smoothest course???
Or do I keep pushing forward finding out whats waiting for me just around the river bend??? 

"The hardest thing about blogging is consistency"

So a few weeks ago I decided to motivate myself to keep up with this blog. As those reading my blogs may have realized, I'm not holding up to my goal of 3 blogs every week. Well I've let others suggest to me that 3 might be difficult to do. and their right, I honestly just can't come up with 3 clever things to share with you guys every week. I know I said I'd try for at least 1 good thought and maybe just a couple pictures or songs... but I have realized I just can't do those pictures or songs... I feel like I'm cheating... though I guess thats exactly what I said I'd do so maybe I just need to get over that.

but here's my point. How many of us have goals... plans... dreams... and how many of us pursue those goals and dreams with consistency??? It's so easy to go hard core after what we want... for short periods of time... for moments... but then we stop... we decide it's not worth it, maybe it's unrealistic. But the truth is, nothing is unrealistic. If Jesus could take Enoch to heaven, if Ezekial could see dry bones dancing... Why do we insist in believing things are impossible. You know there's not much said about Enoch in the bible... just that he walked with God... let me make sure you caught that... he WALKED with God... Do you think it was easy??? I doubt it, I know it was a different world back then... but murder existed, and just a few hundred years later (which at that point wasn't even 1 life time...) God was preparing humanity for the destruction of earth because sin had become such a common way of life.  I'm sure Enoch stumbled alot... so I guess it's a good thing he kept God close by.  He didn't run, he didn't jog... he just walked... he paced himself and he took his abilities seriously. With heaven as the goal he did what he could to keep walking towards that goal, and he didn't stop... He just kept walking.

Someone wise once said

"If you can't fly than run, if you can't run than walk, if you can't walk than crawl, But whatever you do you have to keep moving forward."

Martin Luther King Jr.

It doesn't matter how long it takes you too reach your goal or your destination... The thing that matters is that you don't stop... you keep moving forward. No matter how many rocks get in your way, no matter how many obstacles you face. Climb them, move them, go around them, but just keep moving forward and don't ever quit. Who knows, along the way you may discover that your original goal isn't what you want to do anymore... but along the way, you'll probably find a new path to somewhere you never thought of before. 

Time is an interesting concept isn't it??? Something so precious... Each moment is a gift. I was writing a letter to a friend the other day... I bought the perfect card, and I was waiting for the right time to send it... But you know... that was about a year or so ago... the "right time" hasn't come yet... But I finally wrote in it anyways... While I was writing... I realized there's no better time than now. Now is the most precious time you will ever have... Now, is the farthest you've made it on your journey thus far, Now is the beginning of the rest of your life. Now is the moment to take advantage of everything you have. Now is the right time to appreciate everything you have. I know life may seem rough right now... believe me life as it is "Now" may seem like the worst time of your entire life... but right Now... think about what you do have... If your reading this blog... You obviously have life... You probably have eyes which your using to see the words... Maybe you don't have eyes but you have a friend to read this to you... Maybe you have a computer that reads it to you... In that case... you've got something/someone that's around to help you... Hopefully you have family who loves you, friends that encourage you, a heart that still beats with every breath... Maybe the sun is shining, maybe the clouds are providing shade, perhaps you live in Canada and even in the middle of summer the snow keeps falling and you wish it would just stop. I guess that just means you have senses that have the ability to tell you when there's something unpleasant... Now is the time to appreciate it...
I'm not going to lie guys... my life as it is right Now... is kinda rough, I've lost alot, I've gained very little... I'm pretty much sitting in limbo trying to figure out what to do with my life... Living in a world broke and unappreciated... Not really worth anyone's time... And I'm having a hard time trying to figure out what on earth I've done right in the past few months... and it's so easy to find reasons to be miserable... I've pretty much had the short end of the straw... so much so I got kicked out of a country.... It really doesn't seem like there's alot to be thankful for, my life pretty much seems like a waste of time right now... I should just go to sleep for the next few months and wait for this losing streak to be over...
But you know what... I've got family who love me, I've got friends to stand beside me, I've got a past, and I've got a future... Now is the farthest I've come, and Now is the beginning of the rest of my life. Now is the time to be free from the past, Now is the time to dream of the future. My life exists right Now... It may be a rough Now... Now's my chance to do everything I've saved for the "right time" ... Because my Next Now... can only be better... and more special... because it'll be the next beginning of my whole life... and there'll always be better things to save for "the right time" Later never comes... because there's only Now's and future Now's... but each Now is it's own... Don't waste today's Now hoping for another one... cause tomorrow's now has it's own treasures...

http://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action?language=en

Well here's post #1 for the week. Thank you to those who haven't reminded me that I'm late, I've been traveling and since my laptop has no battery life these days and my phone is not a convenient way of typing up a blog, it's taken me an extra day to get enough time to type this out.

What great thoughts do I have for you today? alas... I have no idea :P I've been thinking about this post for the last couple days and frankly I haven't come to very many conclusions...

Has anyone else noticed how many highschool students are protesting the dress code these days??? One of my friends posted an article on facebook that I just came across... It's written by an individual protesting the protesters.

http://news.nationalpost.com/full-comment/kelly-mcparland-school-is-about-learning-and-that-includes-lessons-on-appropriate-clothing

I actually loved this article. Because it recognizes the responsibility teachers and principals have to educate and demonstrate to students  beyond what is simply mathematics or literature. I can recognize for a few of the students taking on these protests the teachers/principals may have been a little picky as far as the dress code goes. But the fact remains, that teacher/principal has a responsibility to uphold school dress code, and that includes helping students understand appropriate and inappropriate dress for their situation. Every school has a dress code, for some that may mean uniforms, others that may simply expect students to have shoulders covered or no skin showing above the knee... Once your off school property you are no longer under the school dress code. But your still within someone's dress code... that may be the mall which says no shirt, no shoes, no service... maybe the community you live in simply expects to be able to walk down the street and not see their neighbor in their birthday suit...

Whatever the case may be, if you step into a community of some sort there are certain guidelines that must be upheld. Coming from one of the more conservative communities I often hear complaints about not being allowed to wear jewelry, or  not allowed spaghetti straps on campus. I've had friends throw a fit because they left campus and had a party off campus where everyone came back drunk and got in trouble with the discipline community.
 In response to the on campus rules, I recognize that in the "real world" your allowed to wear "anything you want" but thats not the case... There's always rules at work, at home, at softball practice about what you may or may not wear... you might be allowed jewelry... but you may have to get rid of those ripped jeans.
As for the off campus discipline, you chose to go to the school, you knew the rules before you came. You probably came for the atmosphere, the friends, maybe you came because your family told you how great a school it was. As a student, especially of higher levels of education, you carry with you the ability to give your school a reputation. The authority at these schools have the responsibility to ensure that their students uphold the reputation that they strive to create. Just because you take a group of these students off campus... Doesn't give you the right to break every rule...

I find the younger generation forgets why certain expectations exist. With sex offenders on the rise, they still fight the system to be allowed to wear less clothing. Is it their fault if they get sexualized and/or raped??? no, it is definitely not their fault. but they didn't help matters either did they? We should be fighting the problem, not arguing that there shouldn't be a problem...

As far as students and teachers who may not agree with the dress code and feel a protest or blatant disregard is the answer... Remember... your in the system of education, the one that thrives on teachers and students. Students need to stop protesting their problems and address the real issue. If you feel the codes need to be updated from the stone age... then figure out an appropriate way to talk to the teachers and get the codes updated. I won't lie, I'm sure alot of school just copy and paste their manuals and who knows the last time the manual was actually looked through... if it was from back in your grandmother's day when ankles were super inappropriate... maybe you should get the teachers to update it. But if you just really like your dress and think everyone is ridiculous for thinking it's inappropriate... maybe you should rethink whether or not you have the right to complain. Not everything needs to be updated believe it or not... check out different businesses in your community and find out their dress code... is it the tacky shirt with a logo and khaki pants??? you may not want to use them as an example... but how about high class business professionals... banks, real-estate agents... alot of very well dressed individuals... who dress to impress and follow the code accordingly... maybe you need to go to a more casual counselor or gym to find out their codes... but where ever you go to check out dress codes... remember you can't go to a swimming pool and expect class rules to be the same... gym rules and professional rules aren't the same... But assess where on the scale your school/setting may be and remember to respect the authority who's been around awhile and kinda has an idea of what they are talking about.

Well, since last I posted alot has happened, so I'll try to catch you up with much of whats been going on.

1. I'm writing this blog post from my newest Gmail account... kim@soar4him.com. I'm working on putting my goals and dreams into motion, and I've started with a website where I can get it all started and organized. For those of you that have created an organization, feel free to email me a to-do list of what I need to do, Thus far, I'm working to build skills and networking that may help me further this goal, If your reading this and know a school/church/youth group interested in a special youth program let me know. I currently have available an instructor qualified to teach survival skills as well as some basic first aid knowledge. Just looking for groups to present to. Shoot me an email we'll see what we can work out :) Beyond that I'm looking to become qualified to present a seminar on Depression and volunteers willing to become qualified to help with that as well. So far funds and people are holding me back for that. So I'll keep you posted, as to when that comes available.

2. I have gotten 3 accounts set up to post to this blog, I'm hoping to do 1 blog post every day from 1 of the 3.... Though I might decide to make that a Sunday, Tues, Thursday thing... Eitherway... I have 3 accounts, for 3 of my business goals...
a) kmckay@burmanu.ca As a recent Graduate I am definitely looking for work so this is kind of my go-to email for most of my life... friends, family, possible employers, etc... somehow I don't know that organizations that work with @risk youth or adventure therapy really want to be hiring someone who's email is knifegirlkim@gmail.com... o.O ... I mean once they start asking questions I think they'd understand and there would be no problem... but lets get me to that interview before throwing such questions into the mix...
b) knifegirlkim@gmail.com my plan is to continue presenting cutco, keep it as a source of income and keep using it to build my dreams and meet my goals. If you guys want some knives... you know where to go first ;)
c) kim@soar4him.com This is where all my dreams come together... in the next few years I'd like to be able to see this program building, get contracted out to do programs in many different areas of North America to work with youth, to challenge churches to further their circle of influence in their communities, and challenge individuals to grow, to dream, and to create for themselves the lives God has given them to live.
I would like to focus on writing this blog every couple of days, for a few specific reasons:
a) to grow better my writing skills... first of all resumes and coverletters are miserable guys... whoever invented such things were ridiculous... but my theory is if I can write more... maybe a few sentences about why I'm awesome won't be so hard to write out... with all my plans who knows what God will make me write... and part of me says don't get better cause then He'll make me write more... the other part of me realizes He's going to make me write whether I get better or not so I might as well just get it over with and strengthen the gifts He's given me... I find myself always settling for good... and never feeling it necessary to achieve greatness... and I've got lots of reasons for that maybe I've already written them.... maybe I'll write them someday... but settling for good not great is pathetic... and seriously guys... if you have an opportunity to achieve greatness in something... do it...
b) I've thrown around the idea of writing a book someday... and I've had many people tell me I should write a book. all of which... is about 75% joke, 25% serious... so again in my attempt to allow myself the opportunity of greatness... I need to start writing... So lets start with a blog that probably doesn't have a far reach... really if it does don't tell me :P I like being a secret, it makes me more honest... ;) So here's my attempt at becoming a writer...
c) I'm looking to set goals and stick with them... Write now in my life I feel like I'm living in limbo in many areas of my life... nothing to focus on immediately because of commitments I've made, or situations that keep further commitment just out of reach... I kinda just have to make goals and figure out how to make them happen, but I have time frames that keep me from anything too concrete at least for the summer... So here's goal #1 to write more. to make 3 posts on this blog a week...  1 from the perspective of the recent graduate, 1 from sales, 1 from my dreams... Wish me luck, pray for me, and if you're following diligently and you don't see a new post for over 3 days... please try to hold me accountable and send me a message. Ask me if I died, remind me that by setting goals I am better able to achieve goals, remind me that Integrity and follow through are key ingredients to making dreams come true.

3. I'm writing this blog to expand my comfort zone... if your new to this blog... you probably just ready my status on facebook and was like wow! Kimmy's blogging!!! What? yeah... I know... Well... the fact that you know about this is already outside of the comfort zone... I've told a few people... so that they can keep up to date on my life... cause I do alot of stuff but I forget to tell people... so if I have a blog and something really cool happens... I can tell them all at the same time :D and if they didn't read the blog... well... thats their problem they didn't know cause obviously... they didn't read the blog that I told them about so they'd know ;) but... by not posting regularly... really it's my fault... why should they look if I only post every few months... also I can convince myself that I'm totally anonymous and no one reads it anyways so I can say whatever I want... well... I'm probably going to be a little less honest knowing that I've now opened this blog to the entire world of facebook... however... I'm going to attempt to be nearly as honest... because it's partly about expanding that terrible comfort zone... bah humbug... With that in mind guys... I know I've told you to hold me accountable as far as making sure I keep posting... try to pretend that you don't know who's writing here... If I have 50 people remind me to keep posting... I'm probably going to become a turtle and hide in my shell till everyone gives up and goes away... But I will try to not run away...

I think thats all I've got for today, and I gotta run... presentation and cross my fingers she loves the knives... I know she's already looking for a paring knife... so I'll try to keep you posted... haha I've got 3 blogs to do starting in 2 days... so maybe I'll try to post as knifegirlkim on Sunday... also hoping to book a bunch of presentations for sunday and monday... so again... ask me how they went if you don't hear by tuesday ;)

We'll talk to you soon
Kim (the dreamer)

Sorry Guys... I am a terrible blogger... but as I mentioned on the first blog... there could be many months in between posts...
Well here I am to update my blog once again... because my boyfriend found it and reminded me of it's existence. So... here I am to give you a run down of my beautiful life. 

Oh where to start... I guess lets start last January really quick... I was looking through my blogs and thus remembered a few things... 2014 was my year of a relationship with God. and my goodness what a year that was... I'll be honest... I don't remember that deal much after the summer began... so by the end of that year I'll admit my habits began to dwindle and the relationship wasn't as incredible as it had began... but that being said, I think we just got into the groove of the relationship. Which has it's good and bad points... good because it was comfortable, this last year my identity has become Jesus Freak, God's girl, I've gotten back to being comfortable being... Unashamed... Nothing else matters... and it's an identity I'm good with. Bad, because I've gotten comfortable... I've lost the new relationship butterflies in my stomach the world is at our fingertips excitement. And that's a feeling that's hard to come by.

So during the summer... I went to Mongolia, and wrote a short blurb about that so I won't talk too much about that... after Mongolia.... oh man I don't even know what I've been up to... I think it was relatively uneventful... well... I did write a bit about my adventures with Vector as well. So it's been alot of dreaming big, becoming a better me, and continuing to grow a stronger relationship with the best guy I've ever been able to know. God has been good, and whether or not I remembered my commitment for a relationship with Him, He never forgot. 

Well the semester slowly ended, again nothing super eventful, but relationships continued to be strengthened, values continued to be challenged. Became Assistant Manager for Vector Marketing, they were interested in making a District Manager this coming summer and honestly... it's a pretty good deal... Got to go to Toronto for a leadership conference, and then to Olean NY for a tour of the Cutco factory. It was a pretty amazing experience, And it got me pretty excited about the Vector Opportunity. as a result I'm going to help a friend open up a Branch Office this coming May, I might continue throughout the summer, but at least for May I'll continue to be assistant manager. that brings us up to Christmas, finals over I headed home towards family and practicum. Had a delightful visit with my grandparents on the way home, drove into my parking lot at home and my car refused to start. Between God and that precious vehicle of mine... I am incredibly blessed... There were enough troubles with my car before I left for Christmas, the fact that I survived and made it home was incredible... and having my vehicle wait until I got home so I could have family help me fix the car was a miracle. 

After Christmas my car continued to have issues, but nothing we couldn't fix, well... hopefully they stay fixed anyways... ;) 
Practicum began and can I just say it was a fantastic practicum? Putting into action the things I love the most... Dreaming big, working as a team to achieve incredible things, and letting God use us as Lifeboat 14... To do what it takes to reach anyone we possibly can... Set goals and do what it takes to dream even bigger and expect God to help those goals come true. back to a previous post about Jonathan and his armor bearer... Live boldly, do bold things. If God is with you, then you can attack the enemy with confidence knowing God will bless you. Sometimes I think He blesses the true faith with or without His guidance, simply because you trusted and expected Him to bless you. 

Practicum underway I got talking with a dear friend, man... this is where the great part starts and I don't know even know what to say... I have a boyfriend... crazy about him for years... finally let him go and decided to move on with my life, and well... we finally got to close to the right place at the right time. got talking and realized this whole being friends thing... just wasn't going to happen... I did try... for so long... but it just wasn't going to work... my goodness... I can talk about a lot of stuff... and I had a great plan to just let it all go, but i can't... the truth is... He's incredible...
God's timing is always the best. He's brought 2 crazy kids together and it's the best miracle I could have ever asked for. 
So, for all those reading... keep posted for the many adventures yet to come... maybe I'll get sappy and talk about it lots... but for now...

Relationships are great, friends & family & romance...
Work, well for now it's great but it's pretty much all up in the air...
God, good all the time, and I definitely couldn't ask for a better friend...
Me, happy as a clam :)