So... it's me again. Obviously... :P
Just sitting here thinkin, you started a blog, well keep it up.
I think I'm kind of a failed Blogger right now. This is why I have a hard time keeping a Journal going. Cause I loose inspiration. I write (to quote some dear friends of mine) "as the spirit moves." well... I guess thats kinda the way I run my life to. I take one day at a time, I don't like to plan and I don't like to commit. In some ways I am blessed with such an easy going way of life. Some if you know me and are reading this may think... ok... that doesn't make sense, Your one of the most organized and structured people I know!!! ok... if your thinking that you obviously don't know me well... but you are in some ways correct. I do like structure, I like to know the goal and I like to move towards that goal. but if we're planning to get together, I don't like to commit to a time or date until the time and date comes much closer. Yes it can be a blessing, things stress me less because, well I didn't commit to it, because I knew something more important might come up that couldn't be put off. But, it's not the most go-getting way of life. I have a hard time putting myself out there, what if I say I'll do this, but it turns out I can't??? well if thats the case, tough, figure out your priorities. if you don't put yourself out there you'll never know.

Now do I have a point to this little Blog???
Well... I most certainly did not start out with one... But let me make a point...

Don't take life so seriously. Learn to play things by ear. you might end up somewhere new and exciting.

Man up. Take Chances. Commit to things. I know it's hard to break them, but hey, if you don't commit to anything you'll never learn how. Committing, I've been told, isn't as hard as it sounds. I'll be honest. I haven't figured out how yet, but sometimes it feels good. To set things in stone, to take a chance and break out of the every day mundane non-committal side of life.

I know. Neither of those things seem to make sense together. They're almost 2 opposite sides of the spectrum... But you know why??? Because everything in life needs balance. No 2 people are alike. there are people at every position along the spectrum of life. Some that commit to everything, some that don't take anything seriously. I don't know who's reading this. But figure out where you are on that spectrum. Take comfort in knowing, there are people out there that strive to be like you. But don't be afraid to move towards that middle of the spectrum. Learn to fly by the seat of your pants, but learn to ground yourself in a few extra schedules. If you don't know where you sit on the spectrum, or you think you know, feel free to ask friends. Sometimes we think we're committal, but other's see differently. Other's see the Eagle trapped in his nest, or the Dove searching for home.

Have Fun, Relax, and Be Responsible.

Here's another one for the ladies... Men, one of these days I'll try to send a message just for you, feel free to read this one. When it says Ladies, it's because I worry more about my girls, but boys aren't any better off sometimes...

I was just watching the Perfect Man this afternoon. If you haven't seen it, I'd say it was a pretty good movie, if you have seen it or have heard of it... don't judge me for my movie taste ;)

Brief rundown, Mom has problems, her solution is to run away. This family, Single mom with 2 daughters, has been to many different towns, reason??? Mom is desperate, finds a jerk, dates a jerk, when things don't work out because she does still have morals and self respect, they move. Holly, (the eldest child @ about 17), gets tired of moving so much she finally does something. She creates for her mother "The Perfect Man" and bases him off the uncle of her new friend who is a genius when it comes to women. I'm sure you can figure out by now, things eventually blow up, mom gets upset, yadda yadda yadda, typical movie plot.

Now here's my point to all this. When Holly tells her mom what happened she has a speech I wish all girls could hear, and understand. 

Holly Hamilton: You never listen to anything I want. 
Jean Hamilton: All right, fine. What do you want? 
Holly Hamilton: I want a mom who sees in herself what Zoe and I see everyday. That's talented and pretty and funny, and cooks great and dances great, and doesn't need a man to be those things. Okay, so maybe the perfect man wasn't real. But the perfect you is. 

Ladies, I don't care what your worried about. Whether age like Single Mother of 2 Jean, or whether your insecure about your body, your personality, whether your simply afraid of not being accepted or never being loved. Don't settle. This doesn't mean wait for Prince Charming to come riding up on a White Horse, honey... The Perfect Man, does not truly exist. But that being said, There is a perfect man for every perfect woman. If you want to find your perfect man, your going to have to be sure you know the perfect woman first. Perfect doesn't mean flawless. Perfect isn't a mold created in heaven that got battered as you fell to the earth. Perfect means smiles, laughter, love, personality, interests, likes, flaws, it means being you and not caring what the world thinks. When you find the real you. Thats when you can feel confident in finding a real Man. Because once you can truly respect you, and be willing to wait for whatever God's got planned, thats when you can find a man to truly respect you, and be willing to go where God plans.

On the flip side...
Don't keep people out, Some of us don't know how to open up and let anyone get close, I don't know if it's because we haven't figured out how to let go of the unrealistic Perfect Man, or if it's because we lack confidence in our ability to find our perfect man. Take a chance once in a while. Don't be afraid to open up and let people get close. If things get serious and you get scared, take it from me. Let him know. Tell him your starting to get scared and you need him to help you through the fear. If things get serious but you realize he's not the man for you, tell him. If you can't figure out which is the problem, talk to your friends, let them know your freaking out and you don't know why. If they like him and you completely respect their opinion, consider it fear and continue on. Don't back out just because your afraid. 

Hey guys.

So I'm in one of those moods... where I just want to sit back, observe the world, think about my heart, and think about life. I really don't know what to think about. But I guess as a Single Female one of the top thoughts on my mind this evening is... Will I ever find someone that makes me truly happy???

A couple of years ago I wrote this...

Can't get Him off my mind.
He's all I think about...Every song I hear reminds me of Him...
He saved my life and I can never repay him...
I'm in love and I don't know what to do....
♥ Jesus you are my Prince Charming ♥

I was truly in love, and I was happy. Completely.
Well I'm here to tell you... I've failed. I've fallen short. I've started singing 3 songs... The 1 to the guy I lost... the 1 to the guy I'll someday have... and the 1 to the God that I love... and in that order. why do we do this so often??? we make leaps and bounds forward... and then we leap and bound back just because something happened that we didn't like. we get so wrapped up in life that when something happens to disturb the peace, we push everything aside and cling to what is the worst thing to cling to...

I long for the day when I can fall truly and completely in love with my Saviour once again... He's everything, but right now Nothing has come between us, and I need to remember how to shove Nothing aside and cling once more to my Everything...

And I'll Cherish the Old Rugged Cross... 

Till my Trophies at last I lay down... 

I will Cling, to the old rugged cross... 

And exchange it someday for a crown. 

Hey guys, this morning's blog, though it may sounds a bit strange, was inspired by a dream I had... Yes I do realize that just because it's a dream does not make it reality. But I also realize that things like this happen every day, the attitude is the same and I feel I need to say something about it.

Rape and Abuse are serious things my friend. I've had a friend tell me she was being raped by her fiance, but she didn't know if it really was rape or not. Surprise guys... It is. I see girls get themselves into relationships where I know without a doubt they are either now being Abused, or they will be when he thinks he can afford to let down his guard. My grandparents foster, and they had a girl that had been gang raped @ 14, she doesn't know which of the gang is the father of her little girl. And in my dream I discovered someone was being either raped or abused as well as stolen from because she didn't know what to do about it.

In my dream a dear friend of mine was staying with a family during the summer. The man of the house raped or abused her (she was just about to confirm which accusation when I woke up). He stole her money under the pretext that he needed it and she was fine with it. When I talked to this girl she finally admitted something had happened, but with a it's not a big deal attitude. She had talked to a friend that told her just don't make a big deal of it. Just let it slide.

Anyone reading this please take this seriously. Rape and Abuse happen every day, everywhere and to many people. It is able to continue because the abused feels bad for the abuser, people get emotionally involved, think they can help the abuser themselves, don't want to be looked at differently, or are under the illusion that it's not a big deal. Some people reading this... maybe you've been abused, hit a time or 2, been merely mentally abused... you might be thinking to yourself as you read this... If it happens that often then me being hit a couple times really isn't that big a deal... IT IS A BIG DEAL!!!

It's a memory your never going to forget. It's something you will have to live with. But it's not something you have to live around. Tell someone. You've got people that care about you. Maybe you've shunned the world because you love the abuser so very much and they became #1... now they're the only one around... Look back, there's enough people you shunned who probably finally sat back because they knew the only way you'd listen was for you to figure it out yourself. Move away. You might never forget what they've done, but that doesn't mean you need to be around it anymore. Maybe you've been abused/raped by someone you don't know... someone you saw on the street, TELL SOMEONE!!! if you don't say something there's going to be someone running around on the street waiting for another victim. If you don't know what they looked like, what they smelt like... At least you can warn them, where it took place. Get the warning out so they can try to figure out for the next time... Anything can help.

DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU IT'S NO BIG DEAL!!! If you tell someone and they say "yeah, that happens all the time it's no big deal." "I think you're dreaming, that person wouldn't do that." "You're being dramatic." GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE!!! Worst case scenario... go talk to a councillor. they are obligated to say something (ok I don't know the degree of their obligation), either they can help you work through the experience so that you don't have to deal with the pain being every part of every day. Yes it will still be there, but it doesn't have to tear you apart. Don't let yourself continue to be around.

Please don't think it's not a big deal, Please don't let other's convince you that it's not a big deal. If you don't have it in you to tell someone, at least get yourself away from the situation. You may have the memories, but you don't have to let it tear you apart. Get the help you need, Don't in any way think it is your fault.

This morning we sat down to talk over how the year went... We had a group of challenging seniors, a group of students Freshman - Seniors that in the last week or 2 of classes finally realized they were about to fail if they didn't smarten up... and alot of negativity as well as substance abuse this year... But during our worship we were asked to state something about the year where we saw the Mission Statement come into practice. The main points... "Discover - the creator. Develop - God given gifts. Serve." Discover Develop and Serve... with all the negativity throughout the year, we can say that it has been a year where we have definitely seen all 3 points emphasized in all the students in one way or another.

Many people struggle in life. They can bring negativity to a room with nothing more than their presence... But people learn, we've seen full 180's in attitude, incredible servitude, amazing talent, incredible things... Maybe the trick is to stop looking at the negativity. Encourage those who are negative, pray for them, guide them towards things they can be positive about, when you start to become infected with the negativity... look for positive things. Make a conscious decision to be positive. It happens, I've experienced it... I had a year of darkness and negativity... One day I sat back and asked God to help me be happy, because I couldn't figure out how to be happy. He helped me. He can help you 2.

Be Positive my friends. :)

Hey, it's me again. 
You ever had one of those weekends that was like... Oh My Goodness I'm so glad I don't have to deal with all that junk anymore... I did.

I'm a dean, and while we were cleaning the deans were talking... Why is it that girls always feel such a need to be loved by the first boy that comes along???
So often my dorm girls fall for someone who... honestly... I know they can do so much better, but... he smiled at her and she was hooked... or the parents and everyone disapproves and they can't see the horrible relationship they've gotten stuck in... Sometimes I wish I could sit them down, smack 'em across the head and tell them to see him for what he is, not for his smile... But you can't. I've seen friends get into abusive relationships, both Physically and Mentally, I see girls in relationships that are abusive, or just plain going to stress them out because he's never going to be responsible, and he'll probably dump you for the next girl that comes along... Why do we need so desperately to be loved???

I've been reading about the 5 Love Languages, and I think it gives a pretty good reason... We all need to have a full "love tank" Cars run on Gas tanks... Humans live on Love tanks... However... no matter how much I try to use any of the 5 Love Languages to continue to fill their love tanks... it doesn't seem to work. They need more love than what I can give them. and so it leads me back to the question... Why do girls so desperately need a man in their lives that they settle... I don' tthink I'll ever know the answer to that... But while I'm sitting back thinking about it... I want to say...

Girls. don't settle for anything less than a man that will make you grow. Spiritually, Mentally, Responsibly... Make sure he treats you as a Princess that he wants to help run the world. I'm not saying He should be the servant and you should run the world. But He needs to encourage you to go where ever you want to go. Shoot for the Moon... Find someone that will stand beside you, someone you can stand beside. Someone that would do anything for you. Those guys exsist. They are just waiting for you to notice them... Or they're stuck in your friend zone and trying to find a way out. Don't settle for Good. Great is out there. Don't settle for a boy... Settle for a Man that will make every dream come true.

Boys... Be the man that Treats his girl like a princess. If your stuck in the friend zone... Talk to her. Give her some time to realize you don't want to be there anymore. things could get awkward for a time... but either they'll get better, or you'll get over it. Figure out her love language and fill her love tank. It's not that hard if you can figure it out. Don't be a boy that she has to settle for... be a Man that anyone would be proud to be with.

Everyone... There's more to life then looking for love. Find yourself. Find God. Find your direction. Wait for Love. It won't go anywhere... It's just waiting for you to figure out the rest of your life first. Have patience...